When the Week is Off to a Bad Start

This is not a good Monday. And to think that it's a "free day" for me because classes were called off in our area due to the transport strike. I had a lot to do-laundry, bank errands, etc. First piss-off of the day ensued because youngest son didn't immediately do the errand of buying dog food and it was already past 8 am. My pets are used to eating their first meal at around 6:30 but I ran out of dog food and the store does not open til 7:30. Son woke up at 8:00, told to eat his breakfast and go buy the dog food but typical of the teenager that he is, stayed on his phone for 10 more minutes. The dogs continued to bark outside because they were hungry and they needed to go out of their cages to poo and pee on the ground. Imagine your mom running amuck on this.

Second piss-off. Payslip is not yet available at the Division Office. I need it to show to the bank where I owe the wrong deductions they made so I'd get a refund.

Third piss-off. Texted the bank re the two deductions I got in the past two paydays (note that we get paid once a month only in public school) and was told I'd get back the first in October and the second in November.  I could get advanced refund bu there will be 3% charge. WTF? I get wrongly deducted from and my refund gets delayed for two months and I need to pay them if I want it earlier? Who made a mistake of deducting? Me? I needed to hear the voice of the representative so I called up instead. And when I am truly mad, I cry in desperation. Enough said. Yes, that was a meltdown I almost didn't recover from.

Fourth piss-off. I bought the dogfood myself and as usual fed the dogs myself. I let out the first couple to the yard, went to feed the dogs at the back of the house, when I came back to let the two dogs back in, one of them is already carrying a kitten. The neighbor has cats and poor kitty was not protected enough by the older ones. It has been the subject of harassment from my dogs for days and this time it didn't survive.

After lunch, I tried to pick myself up by taking a nap. Sleep solves almost anything. I am not talking to my son who has the pride of his dad. He doesn't know how to say sorry. I wake up and go back to Twitter. and there was this Marcos apologist who was talking down on Raissa Robles. When I butted in I was insulted as well. Fifth piss-off? No. Not BBM's lackeys and blind followers. They aren't gonna get into my nerves as much as a greedy bank would or an inefficient payroll system would or a dog who didn't remember it shouldn't kill the neighbor's kitten.

It's just almost 4 pm. I can still save my Monday. Wish me luck.

Marcos100

Those of you who believe there is nothing wrong with commemorating the 100th birthday of a tyrant known in world history as one who , together with his family and cronies, pillaged the country and made life worse for millions of Filipinos til now, shut the f**k up! I have had it with your hopeless ignorance if not utter arrogance. 

You aren't Filipinos because you have no sense of history or you are appropriating history to serve your own vested evil interests. You should join Marcos in hell and please bring his immediate family with you. 

I have had it with so-called highly educated Filipinos who earn their living playing apologists if not outright propaganda machines for this atrocious family who continue with impunity to disturb and derail our socio-political life as a people. Education is wasted on you. Hope you choke on the food and wine you get to afford because you write or speak as you do for this inglorious family. Same wish goes to media elements who even if they weren't old enough to experience Martial Law, choose to contribute to the twisting of facts , past and present.

I have had it with the current president who has no shame in imposing on us the reverence of one most despicable former president. He obviously idolizes the devil and if not for the fact that he's old and possibly dying, this current president is a Marcos wannabe. More than that, he wishes to outdo his idol in scoring more deaths than the late dictator's record. In this aspect, the present evil leader is already successful. 

When are we going to wake up to the evil that surrounds us once again? The present regime is one grave mistake we have once again committed as a people. When are we gonna learn? 

FEAR OR APATHY?

I was just talking to my daughter about the stress the thinking and concerned sector of society suffered from this week. She mentioned the comeback of an ousted exec director who is now bullying the one who replaced him.They (in her office) were also affected not just by delayed salary issues but by the piling up of young victims of EJK and of course the issues involving the president and his son which still many turds refuse to connect to the WOD.

I remarked that in my workplace, a school, these concerns (political and criminal) do not seem to disturb my colleagues and students. If ever they do, my workplace people are good at not showing it. Truth to tell, if not for the fact that I really enjoy my work and my clients (my students), I am deeply saddened by the apathy that prevails esp among my colleagues.

We have just been thru a career fest which ate up at least three days of our school week. This weekend is report card completion for the class advisers. I am not an adviser and I am done with the grades a week ago. Still small talk seldom centers or even mentions the killings which involved young people, same age as our students. No one bothers to mention them. I do, in class, but my students seem to dismiss this as my usual anti-Duterte rant. Or at least that's how they make me feel whenever I mention issues re the president.

This made me recall my high school days (1975-79) in a private Catholic school in our city. It wasn't easy to talk about the state of our country then because of Martial Law. My history teacher in whose class one would expect political and social issues to be discussed , opted to teach on safe mode, so to speak-memorize the who, what, when in history. I think it was only on our senior year that our teacher finally let his guard down and in an after class huddle around his table he admitted his anti-Marcos sentiments. That was some breath of fresh air and hope for me, for us. I think that made me more prepared for my entry to the state university where teachers gave us more dissenting opinions/stance than we could handle. Of course we handled them well , we who were in the thick of anti-Marcos protest either as students or as student council officers.

I now worry about the young in our care in the school where I teach. The teachers just don't deliver more than the content of the subjects that they teach. Young and old alike, teachers now seem detached or opt to detach the classroom from the world and reality outside. This is what happens when many among teachers actually thought Duterte was on the right when he promised to annihilate everything and everyone connected to illegal drugs. He was just into instilling fear so he could govern unopposed. We should now realize that he wasn't actually sincere in solving the drug problem.

More than this though, what worries me is the fact that many teachers and their students think it is okay to kill a person if he is perceived to be a "problem" to the community. Schools weren't built to inculcate this belief. Why aren't they alarmed? Why aren't they grieving? Why aren't they saddened by the loss of young lives? What happened to these schools then?
 

It's moral panic . See wikipedia. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_panic Thank you , Mr. Irineo Salazar for this.

Spare me the audio

I don't like listening to news and live coverage of congress hearings or presscons under this regime. The muted quotes by news accounts are enough to stress me out. I wish to lessen the frustration and anger I feel by not hearing the voices of leaders and personalities who continue to impose their narrative of lies on hapless Filipinos.

Unfortunately, a colleague is yet to realize he also should not impose his listening to whatever he fancies from his laptop on us who share the faculty room with him. He found a livestream of the Senate hearing on the Kian Case and is now thinking he's doing us a favor by upping the volume of his laptop for everyone to hear. I needed to plug my ears and allow my Mozart list to protect my sensibilities and restrain me from calling out this colleague.

I see a senate inquiry as useless especially if we have senator-enablers pretending to care for the circumstances surrounding the death of Kian Delos Santos. I saw a photo of the three policemen involved in the murder and I don't want to hear them deny or refuse to answer. I understand Bato is also present and why would I want to listen to the voice of this murderous brainless mascot?

Spare me the audio, please. I have enough info from my Twitter feed. I don't need to hear spawns from hell pretend-investigate one death too many. The presence and efforts of a Risa Hontiveros will just be upstaged by the temerity of the other Senators to even express alarm at the death they could have prevented if they cared for their people early enough.

Not Lovin' It

At my favorite fastfood's newest branch near our place, I was excited to buy some muffin sandwiches and big breakfast. There was no line unlike in the previous week when it opened. Alas, there's no muffin and so I had to settle with crispy chicken sandwich for my sons. I also added two banana pies and one apple pie but I was told only one banana pie is ready so could I just have two apple pies instead? I said yes and then it took the crew eternity to find thirteen pesos to give back as change. Even the manager who has one ear covered with a headset couldn't come to the rescue of the crew who couldn't find the exact change for me. She later suggested if she could just give me rice which I mistakenly heard as "fries" so I agreed. Arriving home, that's when I found out she only gave me one crispy chicken sandwich. I ordered two. The receipt said only one was punched. I don't get it with fast food crew . At another store, I asked for two of a meal , the cashier relays the same to one of their crew and this crew says "one?" . 

Anyway, I am not really pissed because the happiest period of the year has just started . It's the first of September and Jose Mari Chan will soon be lording it over the airwaves with his classic Christmas in Our Hearts. In this country, we somehow forget the ugliness of poverty, corruption , violence, and death that the current regime has been imposing on us since last year because the longest Christmas celebration is upon us. Hopefully though the compromise between complaint and atrocity/blunder would not apply to the supposed magnanimous offer of the biggest thieving family in our history. A few gold bars and whatever could be unearthed says the President. Just like whatever is available on the menu and may we replace your change with some rice instead. Not lovin' it, this fastfood type of settling for things you didn't plan to eat while on your way to the branch. The waiting line to the Marcos wealth and the reparation for their victims are no fastfood stint. I don't know why this current President is forcing us to accept whatever is on their menu. And then some netizens will say, it's about time we sit down and settle with the Marcoses so the country could be given the chance to heal. Just like what a peeved mom tells her kids, "Just eat whatever I have put on the table!" 

I will forgive Ronald's crew for the minor compromises I have to make whenever I visit the store but not Digong and his horrible excuse for presidency whenever he absentmindedly talk of this country's problems as if he owns everything and everyone and could do anything to them as he pleases. While we have Jose Mari Chan on repeat in the weeks to come, let's be mindful of the maneuverings this regime and its cohorts are doing with our lives. No lovin' the manipulation, compromise, and utter twisting of the narrative in favor of or in defense of what they alone will benefit from or in diversion from what we as a country should be angry and protesting about. 

Fastfood service sucks. But government shouldn't go on being this terrible for long. 

Sorry po, Senator De Lima

I was up early as usual even on a Sunday of a long weekend. At 54, I am energized enough the day after with just 4-5 hours of sleep. I read it’s normal for people my age. As mother and wife, I busy myself with feeding my dogs and doing the laundry. The brood is still fast asleep save for the older son who is an early riser like me but is wont to stay in his room with his laptop. He likes that small world of his which I think he appreciates all the more now that he is home only on weekends after deciding to dorm. 

I checked my Twitter feed and posted a second greeting to one mother who has been in jail for more than 100 days. It’s her 58^th birthday today. She happens to be the bravest woman in our country and the one our president and a host of others targeted to put in jail even before this regime won the biggest mistake of a presidential election ever. Senator De Lima is feisty. She fights for the truth and human rights and these two things were twisted to get her imprisoned. If you are Filipino, you would know how she ended up in jail as Duterte’s first political prisoner. Hopefully, you are that kind of Filipino who agree that the truth was twisted and her rights were violated in the process of shutting her down. 

I apologize to Senator De Lima because I could not fight for her freedom and I could not defend her enough against people who think the worst about her. I remember a colleague who believing the media and Filipinos’ favorite source of info, Facebook, disdainfully commenting months ago at De Lima’s mention of God in one of her speeches before her Senate colleagues abandoned her to the lions in HOR and DOJ. I was so angry that I could only say, “Please shut up before I could start hating you for what you are saying.” I should have lectured him on the truth about all the ganging up being done but I was just too angry to do so.  Good thing that this much younger colleague backed down but I guess that is one reason I could not talk politics and current events with my co-teachers anymore. 

I see calls for her release here and abroad but I don’t see enough people in street protests to do the same. Some sectors even resent leaflets being handed out at the PPM with her name on them, angrily dismissing any statement from her as unnecessarily coloring the event yellow. I am sorry, dear Senator that people especially some younger “activists” of today, do not see you as one they should be crying for justice for, too.

This reminds me of my own youth when the likes of Ninoy Aquino were picked up and banished from public view by the Marcos regime. After the initial shock of Proc 1081, many Filipinos carried on with life, our family included. The Press was subdued and so we didn’t know much about the thousands who were kidnapped, tortured, jailed or killed in Marcos’ name. I didn’t consider Ninoy as somebody worthy of my attention then because many regarded him as a traditional politician too like the then president. Ninoy languished in jail for more than seven years. I was with the university student council when he was assassinated. I didn’t care to pay my respects for him at his wake because I still believed then he wasn’t worth it. It took me the years that followed to realize how his death galvanized the Filipino people into one big force to topple a dictatorship. It took me years to realize he was one very intelligent, eloquent Filipino leader who finally had his heart and mind in the right place after years of being in jail.

Now, with media not being suppressed, I see no reason why Sen De Lima's life and battles should be unclear to many. Unfortunately, media is still not up to task in telling the truth and social media muddles everything that passes through it. Given the technology of verifying every bit of information that comes our way, we should have not made the mistake of allowing her enemies and erstwhile friends to send her to jail. She is a senator of the republic whose rights she has consistently protected, a mother and daughter to the family she cares so much for. What have we done allowing this murderous regime to take her away?

Dear Senator, up to now, whenever I mention your name in class or in the faculty room, I sense the same lack of interest in your plight. I apologize for my community’s continuing cluelessness about if not apathy toward the injustice done to you, Senator De Lima. I apologize on behalf of a country that is yet to realize your contributions to the elusive goal of good governance. I apologize that you have to spend your birthday in jail when your colleagues, many of whom more jail-worthy, enjoy their being callous enablers of a presidency this country never deserved to suffer from but had the biggest blunder of voting into power.

I know you are a very prayerful woman whose relationship with our God is further strengthened by this test which His enemy imposed on you. Despite the situation you are in, let me assure you that in time (I hope soon), more Filipinos will realize the truth about you and your enemies will be outed and punished for what they have done to you.

God bless you always, Senator De Lima. Happy birthday, Madam!

The Non-Readers

It is becoming increasingly difficult to teach literature these days. One reason I left tertiary teaching is because I felt so frustrated trying to make my students read for my subject: World Literature. I'd be lucky if in a class of 50, I'd chance upon a handful of students who have actually read one or two novels after Noli and Fili. It didn't help that I handled technology students. They who had been stereotyped as averse to reading beyond formulas,diagrams or computer codes. Many would welcome my class as time to slouch on the chair and eventually doze off after several nights of finishing plates and machine problems. So I thought then that it was a good decision for DepEd to transfer the subject of literature to senior high school. And I transfered with it to Basic Ed.

I handle three literature classes this semester, one section from each strand (STEM, GAS and ABM) . The curriculum guide says the focus is 21st Century Literature which I learned refers to literature written/created from 2001 onwards. I have no problem with that even if I would certainly miss discussing mythology and other lit staples that I never get tired of. I am actually excited to discover what this new literature has to offer especially after reading somewhere that students must be made to read stories about them or in their context for them to appreciate literature better. 

After devoting a few sessions to local literary personalities and the venerable roster of National Artists for Literature, I actually had fairly successful activities that involved poetry reading , script reading and even poetry memorization. The creative output were also very reflective of the lessons and the students' individual artistry. One section has also willingly started reading novels borrowed from #thereadinghubproject which was put up for the literature class.

For our first 21st Century lit selection, I chose Jeff Canoy's Dispatches From Marawi which gained much attention online. It falls under literary journalism, a type of creative nonfiction. Needless to say , it was very relevant to the times.

We began discussing. One section has actually submitted their artwork reflection on the selection. I have posted some of them on Twitter and Instagram. 

Well, this section is really reliable when it comes to performance output. I am amazed at their interest in the subject despite the fact that their main interests are Math and Science. I forgive their noise and seeming inattentiveness at times because they deliver when asked. 

I tried discussing the same opus in another class. I mentioned Aleppo and Mosul to emphasize the destruction and misery that the conflict has caused for the people of Marawi. What got my goat was when some students snickered at the mention of Aleppo and Mosul. You know how young people are when they are reminded of something funny that sounds like the word or name mentioned. I normally would let it pass if not for the fact that I have it up to here with Filipinos laughing insensitively at something like Duterte's rape joke. I felt desperate.

There are some things terribly lacking in many Filipinos, young and old, these days. Sensitivity and Empathy among them.  Despite technological advancements that allowed us real-time information from virtually any part of the earth, the nonchalance, the unfeeling stance are too openly displayed. The internet is said to have made the world smaller but it has also created great chasms of indifference between and among peoples and societies. In the classroom, we can only do so much at this stage to goad the student to read beyond memes and updates. Despite literature adjusting to readership in recent years, I am faced with students who are mostly non-readers. They can read, alright, but they are not interested in longer, more in-depth reading. News are accessed in passing, heard over radio or TV in between busying oneself with phones. Many families have non-reading parents as well thus the necessary modeling is absent. 

Why did Aleppo or Mosul sound funny? These days, these names of places should only elicit sadness and concern. So should Marawi. Why is rape funny? Why are there people, some of them women, educated and professionals, who are "getting" what the president means and are having fun echoing him? 

I've learned and have passed on to students the fact that literature affords everyone the chance to be in situations and places they may never be in, know persons they may never meet and learn from lives they will never live. Through literature, sensitivity and empathy are developed, making a regular reader more human and humane. If Facebook, the rest of the Internet and mass media will continue to rule over the short attention span of many students, there will be no in-depth reading done, no significant human experience learned by the youth who have the time to read but wouldn't. 

Under the stairs

I am blogging from under the stairs. 'Tis the little space I was given for my #readinghubproject. It looks like a storage room and one tweep even mistook it for a damaged area when I posted a pic earlier. I don't mind. It allows me space for my abubots. It has a table big enough for my things and I actually have my laptop on it now which I couldn't do in the 1 foot by 2 feet excuse for a table I have in the lugawan style faculty room on the other side of the building.

How has it been since I decided to quit a higher paying tenured post somewhere near Morayta? Let me count the blessings:
1. Shorter work hours. Public school teachers report for six hours only each day. My schedule though this semester donates additional 30 minutes to the school (9-3:30), Mondays thru Wednesdays and more on Fridays (9-4:30). I don't mind because of...
2. Shorter travel time to and from school. Recto from our place ate up to three hours daily from my life. That was shadow work (as I learned years ago from an article by Prof. Randy David). It wasn't paid. Now I get to school/home within 15 minutes save for that afternoon when this group said to be devotees of the Black Nazarene (CAMANAVA sect) extended travel to an hour because of,  yeah, sure, their faith.
3. More time for home and family.
4. More time to do schoolwork.
5. Feels good to be teaching the ones who need it most

How about the non-blessings?
1. The system stinks. I have decided to just stop getting mad last week when the Boss was not as friendly and helpful as before. I suppose she already is up to her neck in feedback about her SHS faculty (we are very outspoken and not zombie-like in complying).
2. The place is so noisy. I actually am planning to have my ears checked because I really don't know if it's the noise or the students just don't speak loud enough when reciting or I am really getting hard of hearing.
3. If not for the afternoon rains, the place is just too hot and uncomfortable. The ceiling fans in the rooms conked out even before the previous school year ended. Now, they are being repaired with students paying for the repairs. Teachers bring their own little fans on top of the LCD projector and laptops they need to bring to class.
4. No library suited to the grade level (SHS). Hopefully, when we get the newer and bigger building (unless the junior high school people sequester it again) , we can have both library and faculty room.
5. The usual inefficient, redundant documentary requirements from the division office. Just today, all our annual physical exam records were returned to us because they were not accomplished on special paper. The clinic personnel thought that we can just have the forms photocopied but the division people want the special hard paper which they fail to supply us because teachers don't get supplies. We buy our own and just hope the subsidies (chalk allowance, instructional materials allowance, etc) would come soon.

Why am I blogging about this? Wala lang. I have three hours vacant and I finished my PowerPoints early. There's the idea and the urge to write. The latter does not come often enough. I would love to post regularly but the writing urge does not come that easily for me.

Yup, that's it. I will have two Literature classes come 1:30 pm. Will discuss Jeff Canoy's Dispatches from Marawi.

One thing I like about starting over in a new school and diff system, I get to think of new strats-- not yet late for me given my years in teaching.

#SalamatLeni

Thank you, VP Leni, for taking the journey with us since we clamored for you to be Mar Roxas' running mate. The 16M erred terribly in their choice of president but the heavens knew we would need you to counter this huge mistake. 

I thank God for you. Carry on, Madame VP. Your detractors are either paid, misled, blind or simply unprincipled. You have risen above them all each time they tried to drag you down. Salamat sa Dios at ikaw ang aming Bise Presidente! 

Chairs

Funny how I have this history with chairs, tables, posts and bosses. I get to recall it oh so suddenly after I told my daughter how luxurious looking were the conference table and swivel chairs in my current boss' office. I am happily (acceptingly) holding office under the stairs with an old teacher's table which has missed its side drawer but repainted yellow by a younger colleague who thought I would have some use for it in my reading hub project. It was a better table than the one I have in our current faculty room. I couldn't even put my laptop in that 1'x2' space alloted to me but that one, too was better than the "whatever" space I could get on a table I shared with my colleagues for several months last year inside that space grudgingly given to us by the science department in the building supposedly for OUR department. Confused already? 

 

Anyway, my current "lungga" under the stairs also has two extra armchairs on which I can put my things but I sit on a monobloc stool which happened to make itself available for me during Brigada Eskwela. I am quite content with my space now bec I get to work on a bigger table in between classes and the books and cabinet donated to my reading hub project are right next to me. The admin was able to fulfill my lone request of a grill gate which I can padlock at the end of the day. Currently, a cat and her kittens have discovered my cave and have helped themselves to my boxes. 

In my previous schools, chairs, desks and bosses also figured prominently. At the Morayta tech college, I had my own table, an ergonomic chair which was scheduled to be replaced when I resigned, and a laptop. I shared the domain with three other faculty members who helped me run the language center. I miss the place , its furniture and equipment and the services it offered to students. My bosses' offices of course were royalty compared to the one we had. I guess, this is true in many companies, the big bosses have it all really good when it comes to amenities. Still, I remain mighty proud of that office which I left behind to go teach in a public school nearby.

My cubicle at the Taft university was also something many public school teachers will not experience. All probationary and tenured faculty had individual cubicles huge enough for all the paperwork our job entailed. We had a well-appointed faculty room on the 15th floor. I would have stayed there til retirement but I had problems with my Chair. Yes, the boss, not the furniture.

Speaking of Chairs, I was Chair for Mass Com in a university chain years ago. Funny though that in my first month, our office was too crowded with Chairs and staff that I didn't have a chair! That university chain had all the illusion of being an academic leader in something but it was really just a business that thought so little of students and teachers. 

I am feeling a bit sad that my current boss (with whom I get along well, actually) has a very beautiful office. I don't know if she doesn't feel out of place because the rest of the school needs refurbishing. I don't know why bosses can actually enjoy amenities when their constituents are in need of even the most basic - chairs, tables, fans, toilets. I hope my boss will go visit the rest of the school more often lest she be thought of less than she deserves by the community . Under Duterte, I fear that we're back to the old rotten ways at the education department. I was inspired by Bro. Armin to transfer to the public school. I don't know but Sec Briones , despite possibly similarly intentioned as her predecessor, is too old and weak to oversee the department which in its history was once the most corrupt government agency. Huge, complicated... too great a responsibility. Ideals are lost like chairs, missed like the drawer on my yellow table. 

Failure to launch

Had an argument with my eldest son yesterday. He told me I was a stage mother! There were things he wanted to do but couldn't bec I was always admonishing him about fraternities and things he should avoid. 

I must admit that I am a nervous wreck when it comes to my children, ages 28, 24 and 16. When my daughter was  going out too often and staying out too late, we also had an argument. She thought I was stopping her from enjoying her youth while I was just being the "praning" mom of these dangerous times. I think it's also bec of the cellphone which I didn't have growing up.

When I was young, I would always be out with friends from the neighborhood. When I went to college and became involved in extra-curricular activities, I would go home really late or sleep over at a friend's. Nobody called or texted to ask for my whereabouts and what time I intend to come home. The one time my dad scolded me because I came home late , I remember him saying, "Uwi ba yan ng matinong babae?" But usually he would just ask if I already had dinner. 

My daughter has since realized it was better for the both of us if she dutifully updates me where she is especially when she's out with friends on a weekend gimmick. I usually calm down if I am informed that she's with a friend she could go home with after or if she's taking Uber. Yes, Grab and Uber made my waiting more bearable bec I know my daughter will be assured of a safer ride. My daughter, too, has become street smart enough and I am confident she could take care of herself. I don't know but I am more "praning" with my sons.

So my son is telling me that I stage mothered him too much that he was already being left behind by his peers in terms of things he wanted to do. Honestly, all the while I thought that the main reason he wasn't able to do things was financial. As a family ,we had to go through difficulties with tuition fees and if not for his (and his ate's) academic excellence, we would be neck-deep in debt sending all three of them to private schools. I actually joke about sending my children to London, as in "loan dito, loan doon". 

I can't possibly be stage mothering too much. I actually think I didn't stage mother enough. I am not the type of parent who likes to talk to teachers. I seldom went to pick up their report cards bec most of the time we failed to pay tuition so the cards could not be released to us so I don't bother to come and pick them up. Fortunately,despite the constraints, my children were very good students with my eldest son graduating valedictorian in elem amd hs, his ate, an honorable mention and the bunso, also among the best students of his grade 10 class. 

What pained me so much during the argument was hearing my son tell me what's wrong with us as parents. We didn't have much. I was the usual overbearing mom who talks a lot and says a lot but who, with my hubby, took to house chores without forcing any of our children to the tasks. For us, it's enough that they never gave us problems and that they were/are diligent in their studies. 

Anyway, that was yesterday. My son after all inherited the "opinionated" from me which was enhanced by his studies at the state university. Mothers and their daughters and sons would always have episodes of snapping at each other. Ours are few and far between but they always lend the relationship some relief of sorts after acknowledging what was amiss. We are not a family known to say sorry and I love you. We don't kiss and make up. We just wake up more aware and understanding of each other. 

I recall the film in which Matthew McCounaghey "fails to launch" as an adult and continues to live with his parents. In my case, it's the parent in me who would be "failing to launch" her children on their own because , honestly, I wish to have them with us for a long time. Tonight, my daughter is out of town. My eldest son decided to climb a mountain and go home tomorrow night. We only have our precious bunso with us who at 16 is already complaining I am too strict with him. And I go "why do children have to grow up and try to launch on their own?" 

Research and Information

Today's topic at training was Research and how to teach it to SHS. The facilitator seemed knowledgeable. Unfortunately, her audience, on their 12th day of "incarceration" were either too tired, too preoccupied (with their gadgets as the hotel offered free wifi) or just naturally shutting down their brain stem at the mere mention of the word "research". Research isn't exactly a strength among basic education teachers. Many of them struggled thru their Master's just so they could get a more respectable rank. In many divisions, research is synonymous to the local government's additional COLA of 1500/month. Or so I discovered.

I remember that years ago, as a teacher in a very research-oriented university along Taft Ave., I made the mistake of revealing my lack of interest in research. I think that was the beginning of my downfall in the eyes of my superiors. I eventually began to appreciate research's role in the academic profession but I wasn't able to cultivate a good enough reputation in it. Proof is the fact that my dissertation took too long to be defended and when I finally did, my panel already had made up their minds it wasn't good enough. Not that it was the worst paper they have ever read. But that's another issue. 

I have since taught Intro to Research to technology students somewhere near Morayta. I loved the subject. I enjoyed teaching it and getting my students started in the wonderful word of sociological research. They didn't have much use for it though bec by the time they got to thesis writing, a whole new angle to research is presented or forced on them, that of the technological kind. They even forgot the importance of honesty in the use of sources. All they cared about was the design or program their thesis was all about. 

Research is also not a strong suit of Filipinos in general. There are very few people who are into it. Many Pinoys seem averse to the "tedious" process of finding out more and that they'd rather accept what ever info is presented to them despite the obvious irregularity, lack of logic and truth in it. Google has made info so accessible that many Pinoys take it for granted. Instead of making the search engine their friend, they have become too lazy to use it to their advantage. It's like settling for the info received thru the grapevine or the neighborhood gossip. Many would readily believe the tall tales bec verifying them would just take time.

Several times, the problem of fake news was mentioned by almost every facilitator we've had. The teachers seem to acknowledge it but so far no effort was made to discuss it further. Yes, even if the queen of fake news has recently been rewarded for her achievements in it. The talk centered only on how much she would be getting. Nothing much on how she has twisted the appreciation for the truth and the factual on socmed. The teacher seated near me even pointed to (and ready to believe) the latest fake story of two senators holding hands on the street. I was just quick enough to correct him. Good to note that his source was FB and mine was Twitter. We do realize though that it's not really the platform but the user. This morning there was this misleading use of a still photo from Coco Martin's teleserye to depict the worsening drug situation in the country. And that's from Reddit, supposedly a better, more reliable platform than FB. 

Anyway, information is power and in this age of Trump and Duterte, false information is more powerful than facts  it seems. It has won elections for the undesirables and unimaginables. I don't know when we are going to come around and realize the value of research and the pursuit of facts but obviously we can't just rely on our educators. Not yet. They, too, are in the infancy stage when it comes to research and its rewards.

I don't deserve this government!

It took sometime before I could really feel my government was working for me and that my taxes weren't being squandered by the selfish and the greedy. From Marcos to Arroyo, I think I didn't prosper much bec I was too preoccupied with getting pissed off by my government. PNoy's was a dream. Despite the many problems it needed to face, it made me feel that I was working for a society and country that deserved all my love and concern. It was PNoy's admin wc inspired me to seek government employment despite being quite comfortable as a tenured faculty in a private university. It was time to give back. PNoy and his people (save for a few bad eggs) gave their all for good governance. PNoy gave hope and pride which were missing in many of us for decades. 

Then Duterte happened.

I have no regrets transferring to the public school but this present regime is making me feel abused and deprived again. I would have accepted the fact that delays are norm in the public school system, may it be in documents or in remuneration but what makes things hard for me to go thru day in day out is our leader's utter disregard for the importance of good influence, role models and the high level of appreciation for the pursuit of truth and knowledge which our society needs in order to prosper. This government is so blatant in its insults for the trustworthy, the sincere and the properly educated. Many appointees of Duterte are walking insults to members of society who are consistent in their uprightness and perseverance not to mention their thirst for wisdom. This government gave power to men and women who possess qualities exactly the opposite of what are often aspired. 

Duterte hated school and is disgusted with knowledge thru education. He belittles the scholarly and the scientific and decides on things out of sheer impulse and caprice. He rewards the liar, the fake, the greedy and the crass. For one who has given much premium on education and has devoted many years helping educate the young, how can I feel inspired by the rottenness and shallowness his regime seems to espouse? 

I love my job. I will go on teaching till my retirement but God grant me the resolve to continue on despite the grim atmosphere this government has set for me, our youth and our country as a whole. It's just too tiring at times. I don't, we don't deserve this government.

A Time To Cuss

As a teacher, I try my best not to use cuss words beyond "ulol" and "gago" in my tweets. I also avoid RTing posts that slut-shame women or denigrate certain sectors like the mentally-challenged. I could call Duterte "demonyo" or Arroyo, "makapal" but the most I could say is my fave HT #NaMo or #NaNyo when I am really really disgusted by it all. 

There are many reasons why I should let my guard down. Duterte's government has given me enough instances to forget that I have students who follow me and I should not care anymore if I use words "unbecoming" of my profession. Believe me, it's not easy restraining myself. 

At home, I noticed that I cuss over meals when the TV is on and the news would show our evil president doing what he does best- lie and insult everyone. I really feel guilty bec I know my kids, all grown up and who don't use bad words, feel uncomfortable about it. I know though that they understand where the frustration is coming. They share the sentiment. They know how concerned and disturbed I am about our present predicament as a nation. 

Online, I will leave it to my socmed friends to curse and cuss on my behalf when we are time and again get agitated by this punishment called government. My priority is still to express/share my opinion on issues hoping the younger set would be encouraged to think and form their own take on the never-ending concerns we face as a people. Thank heavens for symbols, punctuations and emoticons for giving me the option when it's time to cuss. So , Duterte, 😡💩😏😡👿$/@&%#€¥%!

Too much

I really don't mind her unsavory past. I take offense at the lies she helps spread especially at the expense of other women like the good senator and the gentle VP. Though it was ironic that she got appointed to the MTRCB at first, I was thinking she would try to fit the job. But she went on disparaging truth and the second highest official of the land. She has influence obviously, but she uses it to mislead people especially our countrymen abroad who aren't critical enough of their news source. 

The former mayor is the worst president we've had. He doesn't care who he insults. He is pure evil. He allowed the bad back into power, he encouraged the slaughter of the very people who looked up to him for support and worse, he continues to ram down our throats the worst appointees ever. 

This government has no shame. It deserves its new ASEC for Comms but then, do we really deserve the way it insults us everyday? On May 9th yet. It's the day some 16 million fools dragged us down to hell. Pilipinas, ang hirap mong ipaglaban. Ang tanga mo kasi. Gustong-gusto mong ginagago ka. Nakakapagod ka na. 

Carebears.

I half-expected it. I know how teachers, whether from private or public schools seem to shun social issues and are only lending all ears when remuneration is the topic. Still, I felt sad that the group of social science teachers didn't rise to the occasion when the topic of human rights came up in the training-seminar. They are teaching social studies, politics and government and now are tasked to handle a very timely course "Community Engagement, Solidarity and Citizenship". I am sure we are all acquainted with issues that confront us as a nation. But...

The young historian who walked us through the curriculum guide for the subject was quite excited on the first day because he said we are going to tackle Human Rights and so he asked the training staff to distribute copies of the UN Declaration. He also dropped some hint on what key issues we would be discussing and the key words are definitely not alien to any of us: EJK, war on drugs, gender sensitivity, etc.

The first activity was already very telling. When asked who do we consider as best PH president, three volunteered the following choices one after the other:

1. Garcia - because a former professor told them of his admin and this teacher was impressed. The fact that she couldn't say much about what Garcia accomplished is as we now say "maliit na bagay". 

2. Marcos- because this teacher was brought up in a family who thinks the late dictator did so much (infra-wise) . 

3. Arroyo- because ,let's face it, argued the teacher, it was in her time that teacher salary began to increase. 

Now, I must admit that I tend to judge others by their political choices. The three above went on my list of co-trainees I wish to interact less with. Well, not really. I could still stand them because tolerance and understanding were also taken up seriously in this seminar. Still, I could only roll my eyes at the prospect of them teaching the soc sci courses to SHS.

When Human Rights came up, there were three who volunteered the following opinion:

1. The US who forced these rights on us is guilty of violating them (cites Gitmo) and so why would we be forced to follow said UN Declaration?

2. We are a weak state with a weak justice system and therefore we may not follow the universal declaration.

3. Drug suspects rape or kill and they are not entitled to the respect for the right to live. 

The resource speaker was obviously having a hard time at this point and his enthusiasm about pursuing the topic waned. He just said it is but a topic in the syllabus and will only be given a few meetings to discuss and so he moved on to the next instead. EJK was not taken up anymore. Not by him. It was mentioned again by the next facilitator but I doubt if anyone would discuss it in the demo teaching scheduled for the next day.

If I were Dep-Ed, Human Rights should have been allotted at least two weeks to discuss. Given the nonchalance these teachers exhibited towards upholding the said rights, it seems it will just be given cursory treatment in class. And EJK will be trivialized if not totally accepted as a day-to-day thing. Teachers didn't care enough for human rights obviously in the same mind with many who think that killing druggies outright is the solution to what this regime has brainwashed many into thinking as the foremost problem of our country.

Aside from corruption, the foremost problem we have it seems is bad education which contributes to the weak instilling of values in many families. 

Sad. 

Going Public

Let me tell you how I got into teaching and why I have decided to transfer to a public school.
1. I started teaching in 1988, five years after graduating from UPD (mayabang ako, proud maroon here). I grew tired of job hopping and commuting to and from the business districts so my HS alma mater beckoned.
2. I stayed with my alma mater for 6 years interrupted only by my getting married and having my first baby.
3. I quit and tried the resto business. It lasted for just over a year and by 1997, I realized teaching is the only job I know well.
4. I started teaching English and Literature. I used to teach Filipino and Araling Panlipunan. After another year, I shifted to tertiary level teaching.
5. I was with AMA, CSB, Manila Times School of Journalism, DLSU, and FEUTech.
6. Last year, osteoarthritis started making things difficult for me so I decided I have to transfer to a school nearby. Also, teaching language and literature to uninterested technology studes has become tiring.
7. Kto12 transition was a blessing. I am now a teacher in Senior HS. Nearer place of work, shorter work hours. Lower salary but I do get home before the hellish rush hours. God is good!
8. I hold a Master's degree in Language and Literature and ABD (All But Dissertation)  in Applied Linguistics. Both from DLSU-M. (Mayabang sabi ako e.)
9. You can call me Ma'amSyj.

I'm back! A brief explainer...

Last time I posted was April 9th, 2016 on my WordPress account. I couldn't retrieve it anymore as I have since closed the email addy I used for logging in. I could still see my posts at mssyj.wordpress but could not post anything new anymore. I tried creating a new one but Wordpress is not making it easy. I remember this blog which was my first on Blogger. I used it to post reviews of my fave teleserye then. I was also already active on Twitter because of Coco Martin. I was a huge fan. Still am, but more critical and not anymore the fangurl type. Anyway... 

I plan to use this blog to post more lengthily on topics I tweet about. My current interests are still much on Philippine politics, society, education and soc media. 

Check me out on Twitter @dinaprofmssyj . Warning: I am yellow. :)