Chairs

Funny how I have this history with chairs, tables, posts and bosses. I get to recall it oh so suddenly after I told my daughter how luxurious looking were the conference table and swivel chairs in my current boss' office. I am happily (acceptingly) holding office under the stairs with an old teacher's table which has missed its side drawer but repainted yellow by a younger colleague who thought I would have some use for it in my reading hub project. It was a better table than the one I have in our current faculty room. I couldn't even put my laptop in that 1'x2' space alloted to me but that one, too was better than the "whatever" space I could get on a table I shared with my colleagues for several months last year inside that space grudgingly given to us by the science department in the building supposedly for OUR department. Confused already? 

 

Anyway, my current "lungga" under the stairs also has two extra armchairs on which I can put my things but I sit on a monobloc stool which happened to make itself available for me during Brigada Eskwela. I am quite content with my space now bec I get to work on a bigger table in between classes and the books and cabinet donated to my reading hub project are right next to me. The admin was able to fulfill my lone request of a grill gate which I can padlock at the end of the day. Currently, a cat and her kittens have discovered my cave and have helped themselves to my boxes. 

In my previous schools, chairs, desks and bosses also figured prominently. At the Morayta tech college, I had my own table, an ergonomic chair which was scheduled to be replaced when I resigned, and a laptop. I shared the domain with three other faculty members who helped me run the language center. I miss the place , its furniture and equipment and the services it offered to students. My bosses' offices of course were royalty compared to the one we had. I guess, this is true in many companies, the big bosses have it all really good when it comes to amenities. Still, I remain mighty proud of that office which I left behind to go teach in a public school nearby.

My cubicle at the Taft university was also something many public school teachers will not experience. All probationary and tenured faculty had individual cubicles huge enough for all the paperwork our job entailed. We had a well-appointed faculty room on the 15th floor. I would have stayed there til retirement but I had problems with my Chair. Yes, the boss, not the furniture.

Speaking of Chairs, I was Chair for Mass Com in a university chain years ago. Funny though that in my first month, our office was too crowded with Chairs and staff that I didn't have a chair! That university chain had all the illusion of being an academic leader in something but it was really just a business that thought so little of students and teachers. 

I am feeling a bit sad that my current boss (with whom I get along well, actually) has a very beautiful office. I don't know if she doesn't feel out of place because the rest of the school needs refurbishing. I don't know why bosses can actually enjoy amenities when their constituents are in need of even the most basic - chairs, tables, fans, toilets. I hope my boss will go visit the rest of the school more often lest she be thought of less than she deserves by the community . Under Duterte, I fear that we're back to the old rotten ways at the education department. I was inspired by Bro. Armin to transfer to the public school. I don't know but Sec Briones , despite possibly similarly intentioned as her predecessor, is too old and weak to oversee the department which in its history was once the most corrupt government agency. Huge, complicated... too great a responsibility. Ideals are lost like chairs, missed like the drawer on my yellow table. 

Failure to launch

Had an argument with my eldest son yesterday. He told me I was a stage mother! There were things he wanted to do but couldn't bec I was always admonishing him about fraternities and things he should avoid. 

I must admit that I am a nervous wreck when it comes to my children, ages 28, 24 and 16. When my daughter was  going out too often and staying out too late, we also had an argument. She thought I was stopping her from enjoying her youth while I was just being the "praning" mom of these dangerous times. I think it's also bec of the cellphone which I didn't have growing up.

When I was young, I would always be out with friends from the neighborhood. When I went to college and became involved in extra-curricular activities, I would go home really late or sleep over at a friend's. Nobody called or texted to ask for my whereabouts and what time I intend to come home. The one time my dad scolded me because I came home late , I remember him saying, "Uwi ba yan ng matinong babae?" But usually he would just ask if I already had dinner. 

My daughter has since realized it was better for the both of us if she dutifully updates me where she is especially when she's out with friends on a weekend gimmick. I usually calm down if I am informed that she's with a friend she could go home with after or if she's taking Uber. Yes, Grab and Uber made my waiting more bearable bec I know my daughter will be assured of a safer ride. My daughter, too, has become street smart enough and I am confident she could take care of herself. I don't know but I am more "praning" with my sons.

So my son is telling me that I stage mothered him too much that he was already being left behind by his peers in terms of things he wanted to do. Honestly, all the while I thought that the main reason he wasn't able to do things was financial. As a family ,we had to go through difficulties with tuition fees and if not for his (and his ate's) academic excellence, we would be neck-deep in debt sending all three of them to private schools. I actually joke about sending my children to London, as in "loan dito, loan doon". 

I can't possibly be stage mothering too much. I actually think I didn't stage mother enough. I am not the type of parent who likes to talk to teachers. I seldom went to pick up their report cards bec most of the time we failed to pay tuition so the cards could not be released to us so I don't bother to come and pick them up. Fortunately,despite the constraints, my children were very good students with my eldest son graduating valedictorian in elem amd hs, his ate, an honorable mention and the bunso, also among the best students of his grade 10 class. 

What pained me so much during the argument was hearing my son tell me what's wrong with us as parents. We didn't have much. I was the usual overbearing mom who talks a lot and says a lot but who, with my hubby, took to house chores without forcing any of our children to the tasks. For us, it's enough that they never gave us problems and that they were/are diligent in their studies. 

Anyway, that was yesterday. My son after all inherited the "opinionated" from me which was enhanced by his studies at the state university. Mothers and their daughters and sons would always have episodes of snapping at each other. Ours are few and far between but they always lend the relationship some relief of sorts after acknowledging what was amiss. We are not a family known to say sorry and I love you. We don't kiss and make up. We just wake up more aware and understanding of each other. 

I recall the film in which Matthew McCounaghey "fails to launch" as an adult and continues to live with his parents. In my case, it's the parent in me who would be "failing to launch" her children on their own because , honestly, I wish to have them with us for a long time. Tonight, my daughter is out of town. My eldest son decided to climb a mountain and go home tomorrow night. We only have our precious bunso with us who at 16 is already complaining I am too strict with him. And I go "why do children have to grow up and try to launch on their own?"